Today, more than once, I had to make myself stop and take a few deep breaths. The recent move, the insane heat, the significant lack of money, figuring out financial aid works and realizing that I missed the deadline, all culminated together at once to give me quite a stress cocktail. Thinking of putting $1200 for tuition on a credit card will do that to anyone, especially knowing that the reward for the hard work now is still years away. But that’s when I realize that there is a reward for all the stress I’m experiencing now. Some people live their entire lives pinching pennies and living paycheck to paycheck. Reminding myself that this is temporary really helps to get through it.
Today I came home from the cashier’s office at my school, and instead of having a mental breakdown as I had anticipated, I set aside all the ominous financial aid forms and invited a friend over to go swimming. Maybe this isn’t the best way of dealing with a problem. Maybe I should’ve tackled the forms right then. Maybe I should’ve compared my bank account to my bills and made a plan for how this is all going to work. Maybe that would’ve been the sensible thing to do, but that method doesn’t really work for me. It’s always worked out before, and today I realized that no matter how much I micromanage my stresses, I’m still going to have the same amount of money to work with, and still going to have to get through school one way or the other.
Today ended up being a good day. I think a dip in the pool does a person good.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
lots of updates
My last post was months ago and I wish I had a good reason for neglecting my blog, but I don't. The time since then has been full of change so the purpose of this post is update for those readers I haven't lost.
My blog has never had a real "purpose", but it seems as if it has mostly been the chronicles of my singleness and dating screw-ups. I'm now happy to report that I've finally done it right. In the early months of this year I reconnected with Dan, a guy who's been in my life for the last five years and has played many different roles during that time. I dated one of his friends. He dated one of my friends. For a period of time a few years ago, I would've called him one of my best friends as our social group was really tight. When we started hanging out again, the best friend label was slapped back on at the start and our friendship kept evolving. I instigated the "what are we?" talk after a few weeks of being everything to each other and we made it official. Life has been pure bliss since then and I am so happy to have finally found what I've been looking for.
The lease at Dan's old house was over on July 24, and since I've spent the last few months at his house with no problems, it seemed only right to get a place together. At the end of June, we moved into a fabulous four bedroom, 3 bathroom house with his long time friend, Richard. I know living with other people carries a bad reputation for eventually ruining friendships, but I have no doubts that this will work out. Our house is so big that I feel like I could live with ten more people and never have issues because we would never run into eachother. In fact, the three of us all have our own living rooms lol. Our time together has been spent playing in our backyard pool, roasting smores at our fire pit, and bbqing daily. It doesn't get much better than this. Yesterday Dan and I built a fort in the living room, listened to records, and ate ice cream while laying inside of it. I'm so glad I finally found someone that can match my weirdness :).
And lastly, I have to update my school/work situation. The economy failing finally hit home for me in March when I cut myself free from my parent's company. The lack of work was pretty evident and it didn't feel right to myspace all day on my dad's dime. My track record has been pretty spotty since then, and I ended up taking a quarter off school. Things are looking up now because I'm scheduled to go back to LifeTouch Photography on August 10th and am taking summer classes. I'm also looking into taking out a fat student loan so I can afford to keep living my low-budget lifestyle and go to school full-time. I don't mind taking it slow if I have to, but knowing that my life is moving forward again is a very good feeling.
My blog has never had a real "purpose", but it seems as if it has mostly been the chronicles of my singleness and dating screw-ups. I'm now happy to report that I've finally done it right. In the early months of this year I reconnected with Dan, a guy who's been in my life for the last five years and has played many different roles during that time. I dated one of his friends. He dated one of my friends. For a period of time a few years ago, I would've called him one of my best friends as our social group was really tight. When we started hanging out again, the best friend label was slapped back on at the start and our friendship kept evolving. I instigated the "what are we?" talk after a few weeks of being everything to each other and we made it official. Life has been pure bliss since then and I am so happy to have finally found what I've been looking for.
The lease at Dan's old house was over on July 24, and since I've spent the last few months at his house with no problems, it seemed only right to get a place together. At the end of June, we moved into a fabulous four bedroom, 3 bathroom house with his long time friend, Richard. I know living with other people carries a bad reputation for eventually ruining friendships, but I have no doubts that this will work out. Our house is so big that I feel like I could live with ten more people and never have issues because we would never run into eachother. In fact, the three of us all have our own living rooms lol. Our time together has been spent playing in our backyard pool, roasting smores at our fire pit, and bbqing daily. It doesn't get much better than this. Yesterday Dan and I built a fort in the living room, listened to records, and ate ice cream while laying inside of it. I'm so glad I finally found someone that can match my weirdness :).
And lastly, I have to update my school/work situation. The economy failing finally hit home for me in March when I cut myself free from my parent's company. The lack of work was pretty evident and it didn't feel right to myspace all day on my dad's dime. My track record has been pretty spotty since then, and I ended up taking a quarter off school. Things are looking up now because I'm scheduled to go back to LifeTouch Photography on August 10th and am taking summer classes. I'm also looking into taking out a fat student loan so I can afford to keep living my low-budget lifestyle and go to school full-time. I don't mind taking it slow if I have to, but knowing that my life is moving forward again is a very good feeling.
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