Changing The Present

Everyday I am reminded how much love I have in my life. I am excited for everyday, no matter how mundane or routine it has become.

It is the life that I created for myself, and it is full of the people I love whom love me in return. That's all that matters to me:)

However, it is that time of year, again. The time of year that makes people thankful for what they have, and makes lonely people sad for what they've lost. It's the time of year that I carry an extra dozen hand warmers in my purse when I venture downtown and can't afford to "spare some change". I've learned that a hand warmer is more appreciated than 75 cents.

It's the time of year that makes me wish I could help everyone. Since no single person can help everyone, I'll spread this message as far and wide as possible.

I mention this website every year, but felt the need to mention it again.

http://changingthepresent.org/gift/521/educate_a_child

This specific link is meaningful to me since I am in school for Early Childhood Education, and a $15 donation can provide materials to underprivileged children that are essential for learning.

There are many other funds available for whatever pulls your heart strings.

Happy Holidays to ALL!!!!

The Real Thing

Since we are newly engaged, I am looking back and looking forward at the same time. I always love looking back at the family slideshow I created as a Christmas present for my family in 2008. It still makes me cry almost every time! Ugh, stupid ovaries.

These days, all my family is still in my life, but three people that were in the video, whom I thought were permanent fixtures, have rotated themselves out since then. It really makes me appreciate my family, even if they have no choice but to always be there lol.

Many burned family members keep warning me that marriage is only a temporary thing; even to the extent that one family member warned my fiance to "take a look at the family record" before marrying me. I don't like feeling that people are all rooting against me just to make themselves feel better about their own losses. Last night, Dan and I told each other that we will always make this work. Even without marriage, I couldn't picture my life without my best friend.

Tying the knot!!

I think I could write a different love letter to Dan every single day for the rest of my life, and that is why I'm so happy to announce that we are tying the knot next year!! There has been a lot of controversy over our wedding plans, so feel free to give me some input if I'm really so far out of line.

Dan and I have been talking about our eventually-hypothetical-future wedding for about 8 months. The original plan was to set up 30ish rented chairs in someone's yard or a park and only invite our closest friends/family. Well... we were at Gas Works Park in the wee hours of the morning on 9/11 (romantic, I know lol) just looking at the city lights across the water. We were sitting on a bench and joking about how funny it would be if we found a minister that dressed as Santa or something ridiculous, since we both agree that ceremonies are only for other people. He asked me if I was serious about making it happen, then dropped onto his knee and pulled out the ring. It was the happiest, most romantic moment of my life. I am the happiest girl in the world to be marrying my best friend.

Apparently, girls grow up dreaming about their wedding. I must have missed the feminine gene that is in charge of that part. Walking down an aisle in a huge white dress while looking at my female friends/family already on stage wearing even more lame dresses, holding flowers, stepping to wedding music, and then having the most intimate conversation of my life in front of 250 friends/family... doesn't sound like fun to me. Seems sort of archaic and old fashioned. Guess that makes me a non-conformist.

A lot has changed in the last 8 months since we first started talking about wedding plans. After a week of shock and premarital bliss, we decided that it really is a very intimate moment for us... we don't want to be a show. Eloping would have been our ideal wedding so that it could be just us, a minister, and the witness. It would be filmed and shown at our huge reception in WA where everyone can celebrate with us. Apparently... there "will be issues" if certain family members aren't present at the ceremony. We modified our entire plan and decided to get married in a local park and invite parents only. This must be a very hard concept to grasp because now siblings are getting upset over not being invited. Combined, we have 6 siblings. If everyone shows up with their significant other plus kids... I'm right back where I started - throwing 30 rental chairs in a park.

I don't understand why people need to make it all about themselves and what they think a wedding should be... It's our special once-in-a-lifetime moment. I think I should be able to tell them how it's going to be, and let them conform around it. I understand that it means a lot to others to be present when vows are given, but it means nothing to us to have them there. People can celebrate with us at bachelor/bachelorette parties and reception, but please, please, just let us have our special moment alone with just husband and wife.

All I care about is my best friend- my husband. That's all I really wanted, and I wish that's all I could have.

Updates Updates Updates!

I've neglected my blog for far too long and it's time I tended to it again. I really do enjoy writing but I haven't had a regular schedule over the last year so it's been hard to budget time. This time, I promise to keep the posts flowing regularly, but since it has been awhile, I have to start with an obligatory "update" post. I'm going to attempt doing so in a bullet fashion but we'll see how that turns out since I have an issue with tangents.

• This approaching week is finals. UGH. That leads me to tell you that I have changed my major, AGAIN, and am essentially starting from scratch - save for two english and math classes which I've already taken that qualify as substitutes. I am now in the Early Childhood Education program. I decided on this life redirect for many reasons. Everyone knows that my number one goal in life is to have a family. It's also very important to me to be able to stay home with that hypothetical family. By opening an in-home daycare, I will still be able to provide for my family while enjoying watching the munchins learn and grow.

[TANGENT ALERT!!!] One of my classes involves doing weekly observations in a daycare setting. During a visit, I asked one daycare teacher why she went into early childcare and her response made a lot of sense, and is now one of the reasons I state when people ask me why I'm doing it. She said it's easy to be patient with children simply because we know that they just don't understand everything yet. On the same token, it's hard to be patient with adults because we expect them to understand simple things. In that sense, I would definitely rather work with an egocentric 2-year old who doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand sharing yet, versus an adult who is just unwilling to see from another's perspective.

So in a nutshell... I'm in the Early Childhood Education program and have many reasons why I am loving it.... and now, back to the bullets!

• Dan and I are going to Mesa, AZ on the 20th to visit his parents. Plane tickets were our Christmas presents :) . We'll be there for four days and I can't wait!! Although I do love the dreary, miserable rainy weather of Seattle, I'm craving some sun. This quarter of school has drained every ounce of my energy and knowing that a vacation is on the horizon makes it SO much more worth it!!!
  


• I am working in the family business again and adjusting well. Over the last year, I've gone from working at a coffee stand, to a strip club (waitress, I swear), to a hotel, and back to my old photography companies. I hate having such a horrible employment track record, especially since I don't have any good excuses for it. Being back at my parent's company is refreshing because it's something I know how to do and I really feel like I do it well. Plus they accomodate my school schedule :) . I think maybe it just comes down to that I am a woman who can never make up her mind, and that is just fine with me.

That's all for now, will update later!

Still kicking ass and taking names.

Every day I look at my life and am amazed at what a beautiful journey it's become.

The future's in our hands, and we intend to do great things with it.

the daily brew

I didn't learn how to make coffee until I was 19. Through an odd series of events, I ended up living with my parents for a few months and the coffee practically flows through their house 24 hours a day. They babysat me for awhile by always offering to fill up my cup or make a new pot, but inevitably I had to learn. Since I always ordered a latte or mocha at coffee places, I didn't have any experience with real coffee and followed the recipe they provided: 2 level scoops of coffee grounds for a whole pot of water. Little did I know at the time that I was essentially drinking hot, brown, coffee-flavored water. Now, two years later, I found the right taste for me (and it's a LOT stronger lol).

I told you that story to tell you this story. I thought I had found love a few years ago. I have finally found what works for me. It's such a different sensation when you find it and make it yourself. I am so happy. I am so in love.