...me, yea I hate to admit it, but lol... I really just got myself into (and out of) quite a mess.
The crazy series of events started when I realized that there was no more laundry soap left in the house. I don't normally get so determined over such petty things, but it was 4:00am, and I was determined to get my laundry done.
My car hasn't moved from it's frozen spot in the driveway since the snow started, but since the outside temperature has gone up a bit, I was feeling more confident about driving as I surveyed the driveway and road. Seemed slushy... nothing too bad. No big deal...
Something you must know about me is that I am a creature of habit, and this morning I did something I always do when starting my car in cold weather: squeezed my faux hiking clip key chain to release the ring of house keys from the ring of car keys, and left the car running in the driveway while I run back inside with the house keys to get dressed.
Moments later, fully clothed and ready to rock, I head back outside and did something else I always do: turn the handle lock on the house door before pulling it closed it behind me.
House keys still in my pocket, I hopped in the car, threw it in reverse... but didn't get very far. My tires were spinning before even clearing the driveway. Fortunately, my salvation presented itself as a shovel leaning up against the garage door. Even though my toes risked frostbite at the prospect of shoveling snow in flats, I scraped the driveway clean and was once again ready to go. I grasp the driver door handle but it doesn't give.
And that's when I realize it... I've successfully locked myself out of my running car, but it's okay because I know I have a spare in the house. I head to the front door because luckily I should still have the ring of house keys in my sweater pocket.
...And that's when I realize that my sweater pocket is empty. Cell phone and house keys gone. I stand at the foot of my driveway in the 4:30am dark, looking at my huge lump of discarded snow, knowing that my house keys must be in there somewhere. Fuck.
I dug in the mound of snow while being soaked in rain for over an hour while my car was still running in the driveway. I found the phone, and then awhile later, in a completely different place, I found the keys. Upon letting myself back into the house, I recover my spare car key, change my clothes, and head back outside. I will not let this series of annoying events keep me from completing my mission.
... And all this for some freakin' laundry soap.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Things I am grateful for right now.
1. ...knowing that I will have almost my whole family together for dinner on Christmas day.
2. ...the hat and mittens that Bronch gave me yesterday. My mom had been telling me earlier in the day that I needed to buy some. Thanks buddy.
3. ...my amazing dad that picks me up for work so I don't have to drive in this weather.
4. ...that my power is back on.
5. ...that the buses are still running on Christmas. I think I'll bus it down to Seattle. Maybe.
6. ...for my little kitty purring on my lap right now. She's a rambunctious little devil about 95% of the time, but I absolutely adore her.
7. ...that my advent calendar is at my parents house, and when I go there today I'll have a lot of catching up to do :)
2. ...the hat and mittens that Bronch gave me yesterday. My mom had been telling me earlier in the day that I needed to buy some. Thanks buddy.
3. ...my amazing dad that picks me up for work so I don't have to drive in this weather.
4. ...that my power is back on.
5. ...that the buses are still running on Christmas. I think I'll bus it down to Seattle. Maybe.
6. ...for my little kitty purring on my lap right now. She's a rambunctious little devil about 95% of the time, but I absolutely adore her.
7. ...that my advent calendar is at my parents house, and when I go there today I'll have a lot of catching up to do :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Pt. 2: Things you never knew about me...
1. I seriously despise flavored toothpaste. Ugh.
2. Even though I very rarely sleep with a pillow, I have 5 on my bed. No clue why I do that.
3. I am a complete pansy when it comes to driving in the snow.
4. Thrift stores are my favorite form of shopping.
5. I hate talking on the phone. (You should text me instead).
6. I am obsessive/compulsive about the way towels should be folded.
7. Reality TV disgusts me, but I could watch documentaries and crime solving shows until the end of time.
8. I can fall asleep anywhere if I'm tired enough.
9. My closet is organized by color and style of clothing.
10. I love college, but I think a degree is essentially useless for me. Degrees look good for an employer looking to hire you- I plan to work for myself in some way or another.
11. I believe that God is the goodness that lives within you, and that he manifests himself through nature, not through organized religion.
12. I will destroy you in air hockey and guitar hero.
13. I still feel guilty about telling a girl in 2nd grade that I didn't like her socks.
14. I chew my nails when I'm anxious.
15. (This one will probably make you raise one eyebrow, if you're talented like that): Sometimes when I'm extremely bored at work, I roll up my pant leg and tweeze hairs out of my leg. Sure cures boredom.
That's all I've got for ya. My first post like this (way back when) was a lot longer... so I guess you should have a pretty good handle on me by now...
2. Even though I very rarely sleep with a pillow, I have 5 on my bed. No clue why I do that.
3. I am a complete pansy when it comes to driving in the snow.
4. Thrift stores are my favorite form of shopping.
5. I hate talking on the phone. (You should text me instead).
6. I am obsessive/compulsive about the way towels should be folded.
7. Reality TV disgusts me, but I could watch documentaries and crime solving shows until the end of time.
8. I can fall asleep anywhere if I'm tired enough.
9. My closet is organized by color and style of clothing.
10. I love college, but I think a degree is essentially useless for me. Degrees look good for an employer looking to hire you- I plan to work for myself in some way or another.
11. I believe that God is the goodness that lives within you, and that he manifests himself through nature, not through organized religion.
12. I will destroy you in air hockey and guitar hero.
13. I still feel guilty about telling a girl in 2nd grade that I didn't like her socks.
14. I chew my nails when I'm anxious.
15. (This one will probably make you raise one eyebrow, if you're talented like that): Sometimes when I'm extremely bored at work, I roll up my pant leg and tweeze hairs out of my leg. Sure cures boredom.
That's all I've got for ya. My first post like this (way back when) was a lot longer... so I guess you should have a pretty good handle on me by now...
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I met the President of the U.N...
Earlier today I received an e-mail from Todd requesting help for an impromptu outreach group tonight. The meetings are normally every other Tuesday and this would have been an "off" week, but feeling the freezing temperatures, Todd decided to put us out on the streets tonight as well. Monica and I hopped on a bus as soon as we got off work and shivered down to Seattle.
It's roughly an 8 block walk from the bus stop to the meeting place, and in passing an outdoor seating area, there was a man in a wheelchair with a tiny blanket around his shoulders. My heart went out to him and I dug around in my purse to find the one hand warmer that I knew was in there somewhere. Without any other supplies to offer, I approached him with my one hand warmer and offered it to him. He refused it without even looking at me. Upon receiving his rejection, I turned to a man a few feet away, offered it to him, and he accepted it graciously.
We carried on with our walk to the meeting place, and once the troops were assembled, we headed back out to the streets. My group walked back past the wheelchair man and even though I warned her that he probably wouldn't accept anything from her, Jan approached him anyway. Within seconds of her presence, he started rambling about how he is President of the United Nations while she wrapped an emergency blanket around him.
I thought that was amusing and wanted to share the experience, even though it's kinda sad because I know there is a good portion of homeless people that are in that situation because of a mental disorder. I wish I could do more than just offer a little warmth, but I'll spare my parents the agony of bringing home another homeless person :) .
(You're welcome Mom, haha)
It's roughly an 8 block walk from the bus stop to the meeting place, and in passing an outdoor seating area, there was a man in a wheelchair with a tiny blanket around his shoulders. My heart went out to him and I dug around in my purse to find the one hand warmer that I knew was in there somewhere. Without any other supplies to offer, I approached him with my one hand warmer and offered it to him. He refused it without even looking at me. Upon receiving his rejection, I turned to a man a few feet away, offered it to him, and he accepted it graciously.
We carried on with our walk to the meeting place, and once the troops were assembled, we headed back out to the streets. My group walked back past the wheelchair man and even though I warned her that he probably wouldn't accept anything from her, Jan approached him anyway. Within seconds of her presence, he started rambling about how he is President of the United Nations while she wrapped an emergency blanket around him.
I thought that was amusing and wanted to share the experience, even though it's kinda sad because I know there is a good portion of homeless people that are in that situation because of a mental disorder. I wish I could do more than just offer a little warmth, but I'll spare my parents the agony of bringing home another homeless person :) .
(You're welcome Mom, haha)
Monday, December 15, 2008
Finding Appreciation
The neighbors left their porch light off again without knowing they were creating the perfect venue for me to reflect in the darkness of my own stoop, surrounded completely by the freezing night. I welcome any chance to think in peace.
I don't know what it is about nights like this that captivate me so. Maybe it's the right-braininess of my character that chooses to survey a dreary night and only take in the raw beauty of it all. With each moment I take in something that I had previously missed, like the way a wave of snow cascades down from a weak branch everytime a strong wind blows. These moments just after midnight are so peaceful.
As much as I wish I could find something beautiful in everything, while I make the lap around my neighborhood, it's impossible not to notice the almost forgotten remains of many houses left unfinished, most are nothing more than a cement foundation. The work sites were abandoned back in the summer time as the builder realized that his work was no longer selling. I feel bad for him because I view these property remnants as evidence that our society is crumbling, and the phrase that keeps coming to mind is that graveyards of our economy lay stranded in my own backyard.
It brings thoughts back around to my own life. Things are indeed changing, but in growing up, I think change really is the only constant. Everyday I am learning more about myself and reflect it upon every choice I make: what classes I sign up for, who I choose to spend time with, what things are important in my life, etc. I am pretty sure I've pinned down what I want to do with my life, but it revolves around a few factors, so I guess what it comes down to is that things are very rarely "for certain" in my life.
There is also something brewing these days that I think has real potential to be amazing, but it involves some definite work on my part. As much as I convince myself that I'm over the past, that I'm over all the things that most people will never know about me, wounds continue to reveal themselves as new situations unfold.
Through no fault of his own, I realized that someone who is absolutely perfect in my eyes is all it takes for all my feelings of inadequacy to surface. I don't know how I will ever get over that, but I hope someday soon I'll develop the sense of security that I haven't felt with someone in ages.
I finish the lap, as well as my reflection, and arrive back at my house.
Upon stepping across the threshold, before even kicking off my snowy boots, my sister's husband Rick looks at me in bewilderment and regarding my absence into the freezing weather says,
"Was it worth it?"
"Yes." And with that, I head upstairs.
I don't bother explaining how amazing it can be to wander while the darkness saturates my being. I already know that few people seem to appreciate it the way I do. The universe will never cease to hold my curiosity and leave me in awe.
I don't know what it is about nights like this that captivate me so. Maybe it's the right-braininess of my character that chooses to survey a dreary night and only take in the raw beauty of it all. With each moment I take in something that I had previously missed, like the way a wave of snow cascades down from a weak branch everytime a strong wind blows. These moments just after midnight are so peaceful.
As much as I wish I could find something beautiful in everything, while I make the lap around my neighborhood, it's impossible not to notice the almost forgotten remains of many houses left unfinished, most are nothing more than a cement foundation. The work sites were abandoned back in the summer time as the builder realized that his work was no longer selling. I feel bad for him because I view these property remnants as evidence that our society is crumbling, and the phrase that keeps coming to mind is that graveyards of our economy lay stranded in my own backyard.
It brings thoughts back around to my own life. Things are indeed changing, but in growing up, I think change really is the only constant. Everyday I am learning more about myself and reflect it upon every choice I make: what classes I sign up for, who I choose to spend time with, what things are important in my life, etc. I am pretty sure I've pinned down what I want to do with my life, but it revolves around a few factors, so I guess what it comes down to is that things are very rarely "for certain" in my life.
There is also something brewing these days that I think has real potential to be amazing, but it involves some definite work on my part. As much as I convince myself that I'm over the past, that I'm over all the things that most people will never know about me, wounds continue to reveal themselves as new situations unfold.
Through no fault of his own, I realized that someone who is absolutely perfect in my eyes is all it takes for all my feelings of inadequacy to surface. I don't know how I will ever get over that, but I hope someday soon I'll develop the sense of security that I haven't felt with someone in ages.
I finish the lap, as well as my reflection, and arrive back at my house.
Upon stepping across the threshold, before even kicking off my snowy boots, my sister's husband Rick looks at me in bewilderment and regarding my absence into the freezing weather says,
"Was it worth it?"
"Yes." And with that, I head upstairs.
I don't bother explaining how amazing it can be to wander while the darkness saturates my being. I already know that few people seem to appreciate it the way I do. The universe will never cease to hold my curiosity and leave me in awe.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
It's that time of year again...
If you were planning on buying me a gift this year, try this instead:
http://www.changingthepresent.org/hunger/gifts
Happy Holidays.
http://www.changingthepresent.org/hunger/gifts
Happy Holidays.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I couldn't wait...
... to post this after Christmas. In fact, most of my family members already have their copies of the movie as a testament to how impatient I am. It probably won't give you the warm fuzzies since it's not your family, but it's evoked quite a few tears from the womenfolk in my family so far.
Enjoy.
(Turn your volume on)...
Enjoy.
(Turn your volume on)...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
I am very lucky.
This year for Christmas I am giving everyone in my family the same thing with the hope that it will be universally enjoyed by all of them. It is basically a digital family photo album of 2008 in review, which happens to be perfectly complimented by Rascal Flatts singing "My Wish" in the background.
So here I am in front of my computer, it's 1:13am, and I can't sleep. I decided to stir myself outta bed for awhile and came down to watch this project of mine as some sort of therapy. I just need to feel better right now, and thought perhaps looking at a video of my family would be a great remedy. Whenever I'm having a bad day, it helps to remember that I'm not in this alone. I'm not gonna lie, today has been a very hard day. I can almost say with certainty that this is the worst day I've ever had.
This morning, I arrived at school on time for my two hour math final, settled into my desk feeling confident about the outcome, but my morning was instantly set off course when I realized that my extra credit packet was missing. Doesn't sound like a big deal, I know, but this was the extra credit packet that I've slaved over, lost sleep over, and stressed about for the last week. And hey go figure, on the last possible day to turn it in, it's nowhere to be found. My day was doomed from that point on.
By 9:20am, the scheduled amount of time for the final was expired and I shuffled out of the classroom grumbling and kicking my feet around. But no, that's not all. It gets better. At 11:00am I found myself in mental anguish at the dentist office, trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Two hours later, after writhing around in the dentist chair, after watching blood spatter on my clothes from the drill, after squeezing my hands so hard that the dentist told me they had turned green, and after crying the whole way through, I finally emerged with 4 wisdom teeth having been successfully removed. My day since then has been a blur.
So anyways, back to what I was saying: I was laying in bed, swallowing mouthfuls of blood, thinking about the movie I made and wanted to watch it. And now, after watching it a few times through, I realized a few things.
I realized why I love taking pictures. Watching photos of my loved ones move across the computer monitor, it's impossible not to think about that moment in time when I make everyone pause to smile for me. That little concept right there makes me so happy... I take pictures, and people smile at me while doing so. And needless to say, I'm thankful for the fact that I have so many amazing people in my life to include in the album. Watching this is a true reminder of how full of love my life is. That's a very good feeling.
I'll probably post it on here after I've distributed them out to everyone. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.
[[ Disclaimer: I've taken quite a few pills by this point and am sort of loopy. My thought process is kind of hazy right now, so until I come back to proof read this tomorrow, please overlook the choppiness of it all.]]
So here I am in front of my computer, it's 1:13am, and I can't sleep. I decided to stir myself outta bed for awhile and came down to watch this project of mine as some sort of therapy. I just need to feel better right now, and thought perhaps looking at a video of my family would be a great remedy. Whenever I'm having a bad day, it helps to remember that I'm not in this alone. I'm not gonna lie, today has been a very hard day. I can almost say with certainty that this is the worst day I've ever had.
This morning, I arrived at school on time for my two hour math final, settled into my desk feeling confident about the outcome, but my morning was instantly set off course when I realized that my extra credit packet was missing. Doesn't sound like a big deal, I know, but this was the extra credit packet that I've slaved over, lost sleep over, and stressed about for the last week. And hey go figure, on the last possible day to turn it in, it's nowhere to be found. My day was doomed from that point on.
By 9:20am, the scheduled amount of time for the final was expired and I shuffled out of the classroom grumbling and kicking my feet around. But no, that's not all. It gets better. At 11:00am I found myself in mental anguish at the dentist office, trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Two hours later, after writhing around in the dentist chair, after watching blood spatter on my clothes from the drill, after squeezing my hands so hard that the dentist told me they had turned green, and after crying the whole way through, I finally emerged with 4 wisdom teeth having been successfully removed. My day since then has been a blur.
So anyways, back to what I was saying: I was laying in bed, swallowing mouthfuls of blood, thinking about the movie I made and wanted to watch it. And now, after watching it a few times through, I realized a few things.
I realized why I love taking pictures. Watching photos of my loved ones move across the computer monitor, it's impossible not to think about that moment in time when I make everyone pause to smile for me. That little concept right there makes me so happy... I take pictures, and people smile at me while doing so. And needless to say, I'm thankful for the fact that I have so many amazing people in my life to include in the album. Watching this is a true reminder of how full of love my life is. That's a very good feeling.
I'll probably post it on here after I've distributed them out to everyone. Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise.
[[ Disclaimer: I've taken quite a few pills by this point and am sort of loopy. My thought process is kind of hazy right now, so until I come back to proof read this tomorrow, please overlook the choppiness of it all.]]
Thursday, December 4, 2008
getting ready to retire my backpack
Ahhh yes, the time has come again for me to hang up my backpack and kick the school books under my bed for a few weeks. Another quarter is wrapping itself up just in time to enjoy the holidays in peace. Thank God for that.
Anyways, enough of current events. For those who are only here for the gossip portion, I do have a couple tid-bits to share... There is a man... a very charming, oh-so-adorable man with an amazing smile and a personality to match. He's been around for a few months but managed to keep under the radar until recently.
I've got that whole "singing-from-the-rooftops-even-though-my-face-hurts-from-smiling-so-much" thing going on right now. *Sigh*
Finally, a good thing emerged from all the early mornings of dragging myself through math class.
Anyways, enough of current events. For those who are only here for the gossip portion, I do have a couple tid-bits to share... There is a man... a very charming, oh-so-adorable man with an amazing smile and a personality to match. He's been around for a few months but managed to keep under the radar until recently.
I've got that whole "singing-from-the-rooftops-even-though-my-face-hurts-from-smiling-so-much" thing going on right now. *Sigh*
Finally, a good thing emerged from all the early mornings of dragging myself through math class.
Photos anyone?
Since I'm fairly broke as usual, my Christmas present to family and friends this year are holiday photos for anyone interested. I've got a fairly small studio set up in my house that will be there throughout the weekend. It will fit roughly two adults or three kids, but we can always get creative and squish everyone closer together if needed. Here's a picture of what I'm working with, but it's still a work in progress. When I get home later I'll will probably remove the two pillars of sticks on each side and make room for a Christmas tree instead.
E-mail me if you are interested... pictures are free and I will burn them to a cd for you.
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