Today

Today, more than once, I had to make myself stop and take a few deep breaths. The recent move, the insane heat, the significant lack of money, figuring out financial aid works and realizing that I missed the deadline, all culminated together at once to give me quite a stress cocktail. Thinking of putting $1200 for tuition on a credit card will do that to anyone, especially knowing that the reward for the hard work now is still years away. But that’s when I realize that there is a reward for all the stress I’m experiencing now. Some people live their entire lives pinching pennies and living paycheck to paycheck. Reminding myself that this is temporary really helps to get through it.

Today I came home from the cashier’s office at my school, and instead of having a mental breakdown as I had anticipated, I set aside all the ominous financial aid forms and invited a friend over to go swimming. Maybe this isn’t the best way of dealing with a problem. Maybe I should’ve tackled the forms right then. Maybe I should’ve compared my bank account to my bills and made a plan for how this is all going to work. Maybe that would’ve been the sensible thing to do, but that method doesn’t really work for me. It’s always worked out before, and today I realized that no matter how much I micromanage my stresses, I’m still going to have the same amount of money to work with, and still going to have to get through school one way or the other.

Today ended up being a good day. I think a dip in the pool does a person good.