Blah.

I'm trying to think of something to write about.

As I travel back in time through my blog history, I realize one very prominent trend. Seems that I go through spells where I can't shut up, then long periods of silence. Eventually I show back up, apologize for my writing absence, then start with an obligatory "update" post followed with promises to stay current. I want to avoid that rut this time but it's already been a month since my last post.

So let's see. Hmmmmm.

Being home with Son has been wonderful beyond words, although definitely still jumping hurtles as new obstacles arise. We "interviewed" a few different in-home nursing companies while still in the hospital and left feeling extremely pleased and comfortable with our decision. Turns out that we were fed a sales pitch with nothing but vacant promises. After spending weeks on the back burner, we finally decided to cut ties with the company and switch to our runner up. Feeling a lot more confident now and regretting we didn't originally go with #2. All the paperwork has been signed, doctor's orders have been faxed, and the first shift with a nurse from #2 company is tonight. Please wish us better luck this time around!

On a different note, my book is about 90% done. I keep changing my mind about the cover and still have a handful of stories to write. We kept a journal while living in the hospital and chronicled funny moments by quickly writing down a few key words. Now I have to find time to revisit that moment and put the whole experience out in words. This last part will be tricky because our daily hours of nursing are close to being reduced, since we've almost reached the "been home one month" mark.

I was going to be gutsy and pour everything out in the book. Expose myself 100%. Maybe some would think, "Wow, she's brave for putting that out there," or they'd think, "Uh, yea, we didn't need to know that". I've officially decided that I'm a pansy and pulled a handful of stories, and well as decided I just wasn't ready to write some of them. We've had some very dark times, and with so much sadness in the world, what's the point of adding more?

Hopefully the end product will be worth reading.

I'm not a fan of cliches but I haven't figured out how to define myself yet. Sometimes, when I tell someone a story or they make an observation about me, the expression I receive in response is... interesting. So at the risk of sounding cliche, I'll just say that yes, I march to the beat of my own drum, I'm a bird of a different feather, etc, etc, use your imagination.

I told you that to tell you this: my husband snores. We have slept separately and at different hours our entire relationship. We have a 3-bedroom house and had a roommate until it was almost baby time. When Roomie moved out, I readily took over the extra bedroom and claimed it as my own. It was a short lived celebration though because "my room" is now what we refer to as "nurse central". They do their paperwork in there, eat their meals in there, watch TV while the baby is sleeping, etc. Well, my entire personality flips on not enough sleep. After countless nights of maybe half-an-hour here or half-an-hour there while my snoring walrus of a husband nasally sounds like he's landing a helicopter on the roof, I'd had enough. I was literally crying with exhaustion and had no place in the house to sleep. Despite the cold outdoor temperature, I hauled a ton of blankets to the back porch and made a nest on the hammock. I instantly felt so at peace. Falling asleep to the sound of rain hitting the porch roof and occasional passing train was blissful.

The next day, I went out and purchased an awesome castle of a tent along with a nice air mattress. I then proceeded to construct the coolest backyard bedroom ever, along with an extension cord, lamp, bedside table, and tablet/phone chargers. In my eyes, I had a problem and I fixed it.

Apparently this is not normal behaviour... the nurses along with a handful of friends/family, upon hearing the news that sometimes I sleep in the backyard is often met with a slight head tilt and one raised eyebrow. Oh well, I love my fortress, and if sleeping outdoors defines keeping whatever's left of my sanity, I'm fine with that.