Monday, March 3, 2008

about time for me

Today has been a good day. The long car ride home from Oregon was nothing but time to think. I've been saying for awhile that I'm near pathetic when it comes to relationships, but today I had a delta moment when in looking back at my love life, I could only ask myself, "Why?"

Why did I put up with such pointless stress? Why did I ever want a boyfriend? What good did it do me?

Maybe I'm needy, maybe I'm too picky, maybe it's true that I over analyze stupid stuff and pick apart every guy that isn't Chris. Pathetic to admit, but yes- it's all true. Anyways, you've all heard that story before so I'll get to the point.

Today I decided that I'm going to be single for a whole year. Relationships aren't good for me and I'm not good for them, at least not right now or anytime in the near future. It's easy to laugh it off and admit that ever since Chris happened, I've been a pro at 3 week relationships, and it's taken me awhile but I think I've finally learned my lesson. I'm going to learn to be happy with myself, by myself, for myself. No more depending on someone else to make me feel wanted, just because it seems like all my friends have someone.

Seems like if I announce it in front of everyone, it makes it more official. So there we go.. I'm going to be single until March of 2009.

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