Taking a step back from dating has been amazingly refreshing. This may sound strange, but I've spent the last few weeks observing those around me. Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like most of the people my age have pointless relationships. I don't want to be someone who spends a whole relationship mistaking pleasure for happiness. I don't want to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone.
Everyone's heard the phrase about only wanting something because you can't have it. I never realized how true that was, and also how much growing-up guys still have to do at this age. Recently, I spent a few weeks being tugged around by a guy that I was interested in, just waiting for him to decide he cared enough to be with me. I put too much effort into someone I'm interested in, and when I get blown off, it seriously destroys me into thinking what is wrong with me.
But now, within days of my proclaimed year of celibacy, Mr. Wonderful flocks back into my life expecting to pick up where we left off. Well there's also a saying: ya don't know what you had until it's gone. Another fine example of guys in my life never knowing what they want.
I always be a hopeless romantic and I can honestly still say I believe there will be a moment when all of the dating disasters, the unreturned phone calls, the silly games and emotional unsteadiness, crying into a pillow and having "just one more beer" will make sense and end with me happy with a guy who is going to love me for all of my ridiculousness and flaws and who will just get me.
And if there's not, there's always tequila and Bon Jovi's "You Give Love a Bad Name." Sing it, man.
Stay tuned.
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