I'm very confused right now, and last night it seemed like a fantastic idea to drown my sorrows in Jack Daniels. I am realizing I have a hard time with that whole "drinking in moderation" concept. It was a great night even though both Jackies kept egging me on to take "just one more" shot of vodka. That was the deal, no tears of confusion or pathetic drunk dialing, just shots. I need to figure out what's going on. I need to figure out what I did wrong and if it's fixable. I wish I could put life on hold and just drive until I feel like stopping, and go find a field or a forest to relax in. Bring my camera, bring my notebook, and take some time to make sense of everything.
I'm kind of running away, but don't worry Mom, I'll be back by Monday before work. After I've served my time at work today (only 3 hours to go) I'm making the long trek out to the land-of-barely-no-cell-phone-reception to visit a friend I haven't seen in over a year. She's the kind of friend I need right now. Even while she's pushin' 40, we have such a great friendship that thrives off the age difference. She just gets me, and can give me advice like a mother and a best friend. I miss her. Hopefully that should keep my mind off of waiting for the phone call that tells me what's going on. I'm so confused :(
Man, sometimes I can be really pathetic. Ugh.
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