Just Keep Smiling

Some people don't know how to cope. Some people don't know how to comfort. I am a lot of both right now.

I don't know how to comfort my baby in the hospital. I can only hold his sweet little hand and hope he knows it's mommy singing to him.

I don't know how to comfort my husband who doesn't like to talk about feelings, and always just says, "I'm okay," with a forced smile.

My body is still aching because it knows the pain of missing a baby, and it's easy for me to forget that I'm not the only one missing OUR baby.

One thing I will always remember from this experience: sometimes the best way to comfort someone isn't to give them a shoulder hug and say it'll all be okay. For me, at least, I don't need someone to wipe away my tears and feed me the generic bullshit. I need to hear that it's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry because that's my release, and our situation just plain sucks.

So ya know what, Jacee, you cry your damn eyes out, and that is OKAY. Nobody expects you to be made of stone.