Hey, you're not fooling anyone.

Ah yes, milk. A good source of calcium, a good source of certain vitamins, and it’s even a good source of protein. But apparently, that’s not all. Milk also happens to be THE miracle weight loss drink.

Apparently...

I should rewind and explain why this is my topic for today's rant before expanding. I am considering some sort of short-term detox diet just to unwind from all the Red Bull and Cheetos I've been surviving on recently. I am amazed at how many bogus diets there are floating around the internet. Try looking up the "candy bar diet", or the "ice cream diet". Yes, they are indeed out there.

Anyways, back in the day when I had TV, I remember seeing a commercial advertising milk as a weight loss secret, and more specifically, the web site 2424milk.com. Maybe you’ve seen it? The “2424″ stands for “24 ounces of low fat or fat free milk every 24 hours.” Every commercial states pretty much the same thing their web site states. And, that is that drinking milk, as part of a reduced calorie diet, will make you lose weight.

Hold on. Let me repeat that.

If you reduce the number of calories in your diet… and THEN drink 24 ounces of low fat/fat free milk per day… it will lead to weight loss.

I don’t know who is behind this whole ad campaign, but I’d put my money on it being the same geniuses who brought us the Special K Diet. Their whole thing was that eating Special K cereal, as part of a reduced calorie diet, helps your weight loss.

Well, guess what? Eating a McDonald’s cheeseburger, as part of a reduced calorie diet, will make you lose weight.

Banging your head against a wall, as part of a reduced calorie diet, will make you lose weight.
It’s not the milk, it’s not the Special K, it’s not the cheeseburger, and it’s not the head banging… it’s the “reduced calorie diet” part. That’s it. Consume less calories than your body needs and you lose weight.

Every food and drink on the planet could make the exact same claim that milk is making here. Really, McDonald’s would be just plain crazy not to register 2424cheeseburger.com.

Oh my God, do you know what I just realized? What if you eat your Special K cereal… IN A BOWL OF MILK? Holy crap, you may drop 50lbs instantaneously! There should really be some kind of warning about combining these products. “May cause extreme amounts of weight loss… as part of a reduced calorie diet.”