The Stench of Today

Hey Matt, I know you read these, but what I don't know is if you remember the events of last night. Yesterday I realized that there would be no sleep for me that night. Math test, psychology test, and political science project were on my schedule for today. Last night, as a last second attempt to cram as much knowledge in my head as possible, I recruited a few friends to come over and study together. They showed up around 11pm, and I really have no idea what time you came waltzing in. There was no forewarning, no knock, and before I had even spit out the words to tell you that Jackie wasn't home, you were cozied up on the couch making small talk. The study group was a bust, but dear god, you were entertaining.

You spent a good hour trying to convince me that I really, REALLY, need to give another one of your friends a chance. You danced a little. You talked a lot of shit. You obnoxiously bragged about various sexual conquests. You drank the rest of our beer. You were actually upset that my cat wasn't home to play with. You laughed hysterically (by yourself) while recalling pieces of my blog. You farted on me, and said I should title my next blog as "The Stench of Today", just so I could tell the story of you farting.

I gotta be honest with ya, if you ever stopped showing up at my house at all hours of the night to share your drunken prophecies, or stopped using the scaffolding as your personal route from your patio to my patio, I probably wouldn't like you all that much.

Cheers.