someone get me a drink.

I'm glad to be home. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the time with my friends, but now I'm sun burnt, dehydrated, tired, and kind of disappointed. Everything was fantastic until Saturday evening when it all just fell apart. I fell apart. I hate to admit this, but past relationships have left me very paranoid that every guy I date is doing stuff behind my back. I am finding out that if I get that feeling, it's usually because it's true. Always go with your gut instinct, right? Well, I snooped, and found out a lot more than I cared to find out. The shock of it all left me dumb struck and kind of put me into autopilot for the rest of the trip.

Every day that goes by, I realize more and more how much there is that I don't understand. I don't understand why people cheat. I don't understand how someone can consistently lie to someone's face. I don't understand how you can tell me that you're hurt too. You're not hurt, and you only feel bad because you got caught. You feel guilty, that's what that annoying little feeling is.

I hate to admit it, but this world is making me bitter. I'm mad. Not mad at you though, mad at myself. Coming into this situation with you was really setting myself up to be hurt. People warned me but you pursued so hard that I had to give it a shot. But, now that you had your experimental phase, you can go back to her and we'll both be a bit wiser.

All this reminds me of a time back in high school I asked my history teacher why we have to learn about stuff that happened a long time ago, and he said "We learn history so we don't make the same mistakes again."

You obviously didn't learn anything from the last 3 times you left her, but I still wish you luck because you're entitled to happiness even if it isn't with me.